Question:
Assalamualaikum ustaz. Is the statement that says whoever kisses his wife will get 10 rewards, 10 of his sins are deleted and raised 10 statuses?
Answer:
Waalaikumussalam wrt. wbt.,
Alhamdulillah, praise and gratitude to Allah SWT for His countless blessings for us all. Praise and salutations to our beloved Prophet Muhammad PBUH, his family, companions, and all those who follow his footsteps until the Final day.
Allah SWT states:
هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ
“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” [1]
Ibn Kathir cited the opinion of Ibn Abbas R.Anhuma, Mujahid, Sa’id bin Jubair, al-Hasan, Qatadah, al-Suddiy and Muqatil bin Hayyan that the meaning meant in the above verse “They are your calmness and you are their calmness.” [2]
Basically, Islam emphasizes a loving and caring relationship between husband and wife. The husband is obligated to love his wife for as long as he is capable.
Allah SWT states:
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
“And live with them in kindness.” [3]
Imam al-Qurthubi stated in his commentary: Allah SWT commanded us to live with them kindly. And the commandment is for all, for each person has a relationship with another whether as a husband or wali. However, the meaning in this verse is a commandment that is usually for the husbands. [4]
In this verse, Allah SWT has addressed the khitab commandment for men so that they perform mu’asyarah which is to interact with women with ma’ruf. Thus, the commandment basically brings about the ruling of the obligation to do ma’ruf towards women in their lives.
From Abu Juhaifah RA, the Prophet PBUH said:
إِنَّ لِرَبِّكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، وَلِنَفْسِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، وَلِأَهْلِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، فَأَعْطِ كُلَّ ذِي حَقٍّ حَقَّهُ
“Indeed, your self has a right upon you, your Lord has a right upon you, and your family has a right upon you. So, give each the right they are due.” [5]
Likewise, according to a narration from Ibn Abbas R.Anhuma, Rasullullah PBUH said:
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي
“The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.” [6]
This hadith is evidence of the greatness and beauty of the teachings of Islam that encourages men, especially husbands to do good towards their family which includes their wife, children and other family members and others.
Al-Mubarakfuri stated in his commentary: (Doing good) towards one’s family and those who shared a silaturrahim relationship with him. According to another opinion: (That is) towards his wife and family. [7]
According to the above question, we didn’t find any evidence mentioning that kissing one’s wife will be rewarded with 10 rewards, 10 sins will be forgiven and increased one’s status by 10. However, undeniably in terms of the meaning of the statement, some of it can be detailed in other hadiths. For example, the Prophet PBUH stated in a hadith narrated by Abu Dzar al-Ghifari RA:
وَبُضْعُ أَحَدِكُمْ صَدَقَةٌ، قِيلَ: فِي شَهْوَتِهِ صَدَقَةٌ؟ قَالَ: لَوْ وُضِعَ فِي الْحَرَامِ، أَلَيْسَ كَانَ عَلَيْهِ وِزْرٌ؟ ذَلِكَ إِنْ وَضَعَهَا فِي الْحَلاَلِ كَانَ لَهُ أَجْرٌ
“There is sadaqa is sexual intercourse.” He was asked, “Is there sadaqa in satisfying one’s appetite?” He replied, “If he does it in a haram manner, is that not a wrong action? Similarly, if he does it in a halal manner, he receives a reward.” [8]
This hadith can also be related to the meaning of the statement in the question in general. If a person touches a woman who isn’t his mahram, then he is sinful. Thus, when he touches his wife, which is permissible for him, then he’ll be rewarded.
Whilst regarding kissing one’s wife then he’ll be rewarded with 10 rewards, we can relate it with the general statement of Allah SWT:
مَن جَاءَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ فَلَهُ عَشْرُ أَمْثَالِهَا
“Whoever comes [on the Day of Judgement] with a good deed will have ten times the like thereof [to his credit],” [9]
Hence, it can be said that the act of a person who kisses his wife with feelings of mawaddah and rahmah is considered a good deed and Allah SWT will reward the good deed with ten rewards.
Regarding the forgiveness of 10 sins, it is more accurate to refer to a statement of Allah SWT:
إِنَّ الْحَسَنَاتِ يُذْهِبْنَ السَّيِّئَاتِ
“Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds.” [10]
This verse generally shows that when a person does a good or pious deed at the same time, it deletes minor sins that he has done in the past. However, the set number of sins forgiven isn’t mentioned, consequently, it is just stated in general.
Lastly, we state that it is sufficient for us to hold unto sahih evidences from syarak in explaining the commandment of a husband being kind and treating his wife and family properly. May Allah SWT grant us all a clear and correct understanding in religion. Amin.
Wallahu a’lam.
[1] Surah al-Baqarah: 187
[2] See Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 1/510
[3] Surah al-Nisa’: 19
[4] See Tafsir Al-Qurthubi, 5/84
[5] Narrated by al-Bukhari (6139)
[6] Narrated by Ibn Majah (1977)
[7] See Tuhfah al-Ahwazi, 10/269
[8] Narrated by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab al-Mufrad (227)
[9] Surah Al-An’aam: 160
[10] Surah Hud: 114
